Good morning Iyanla Vanzant, Thank you for the ways you have demonstrated through your therapy sessions on #FixMyLife that a person's reaction to a given situation is not the real cause of the problem but the smoke that leads us to where it originates which is more deeper and insidious than we really think.
I constantly lived in the #past 3 years go, revisiting and reliving, play by play, events and experiences I thought I'd forgotten years prior to this point in my life. For instance, I kept thinking about why all of my intimate relationships that could potentially led to marriage always ended abruptly, but after watching one of your #episodes I realized this pattern of behavior I exhibited traced all the way back to my father abandoning me at around age 3. I was able to see vividly that daddy (Welse John) was supposed to have been the male figure in my life who's role was to be the model/blue print from which I learn how to relate to and with men from the way he related with me, and that because he left my life so #abruptly there was no #authentic FRAME OF REFERENCE for me to revert back to for knowing what constitutes a healthy/unhealthy relationship with a male friend/husband/male coworker etc.
It was for the 1st time in my life I realized that a father figure in a girl's life was (along with fulfilling her physical needs as clothing, shelter, etc) to fulfil what seems to be a simple task but the most important. No wonder I failed at my attempts to sustain those relationships and they ended abruptly because I was only reflecting/mirroring back his patterns I'd observed - relationships with the opposite sex is supposed to be for a #brief period of time, same as daddy was in my life for a short time from birth up to age 3, a father-daughter experience I have absolutely no recollection of.
Through this particular episode on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network & Oprah Winfrey Life Class you also highlighted how the husbands our society presents to us today is also the product of a person who either had a good or bad example of a father in their lives from which they cultivated the way in they should treat their wives and daughters. I have finally got my #ahha #MOMENT when you told one of your studio audience guests that she is robbing herself of the happiness she deserves by #hugging and caressing the #PAIN and #ANGER she felt all those years since her #father left her life and she needed to face the fact that "DADDY'S GONE!" From this lil phrase/punch line I was able to let go and #HEAL from the effects of the #psychological #scars by dad's abandonment left on me, forgave him (R.I.P dad), grab the #lessons #salvageable from this, and leave the pain in the past, shake the dust off my feet, and keep it moving to living my best life now!!
THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME THIS LIFELONG LESSON FOR I CAN JOIN OTHER FANS OF THE SHOW IN SAYING "YOU ARE MAKING A GIGANTIC DIFFERENCE IN our SCHOOL CALLED #RealLife and leaves your permanent fingerprints in our hearts. YOU STRIKE MY MIND!!! This life changing experience will forever be etched in my mind. Thank you for helping me.
Kind regards,
Clairon Haynes
Author & viewer. See More
Good morning Iyanla Vanzant, Thank you for the ways you have demonstrated through your therapy sessions on #FixMyLife that a person's reaction to a given situation is not the real cause of the problem but the smoke that leads us to where it originates which is more deeper and insidious than we really think.
I constantly lived in the #past 3 years go, revisiting and reliving, play by play, events and experiences I thought I'd forgotten years prior to this point in my life. For instance, I kept thinking about why all of my intimate relationships that could potentially led to marriage always ended abruptly, but after watching one of your #episodes I realized this pattern of behavior I exhibited traced all the way back to my father abandoning me at around age 3. I was able to see vividly that daddy (Welse John) was supposed to have been the male figure in my life who's role was to be the model/blue print from which I learn how to relate to and with men from the way he related with me, and that because he left my life so #abruptly there was no #authentic FRAME OF REFERENCE for me to revert back to for knowing what constitutes a healthy/unhealthy relationship with a male friend/husband/male coworker etc.
It was for the 1st time in my life I realized that a father figure in a girl's life was (along with fulfilling her physical needs as clothing, shelter, etc) to fulfil what seems to be a simple task but the most important. No wonder I failed at my attempts to sustain those relationships and they ended abruptly because I was only reflecting/mirroring back his patterns I'd observed - relationships with the opposite sex is supposed to be for a #brief period of time, same as daddy was in my life for a short time from birth up to age 3, a father-daughter experience I have absolutely no recollection of.
Through this particular episode on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network & Oprah Winfrey Life Class you also highlighted how the husbands our society presents to us today is also the product of a person who either had a good or bad example of a father in their lives from which they cultivated the way in they should treat their wives and daughters. I have finally got my #ahha #MOMENT when you told one of your studio audience guests that she is robbing herself of the happiness she deserves by #hugging and caressing the #PAIN and #ANGER she felt all those years since her #father left her life and she needed to face the fact that "DADDY'S GONE!" From this lil phrase/punch line I was able to let go and #HEAL from the effects of the #psychological #scars by dad's abandonment left on me, forgave him (R.I.P dad), grab the #lessons #salvageable from this, and leave the pain in the past, shake the dust off my feet, and keep it moving to living my best life now!!
THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME THIS LIFELONG LESSON FOR I CAN JOIN OTHER FANS OF THE SHOW IN SAYING "YOU ARE MAKING A GIGANTIC DIFFERENCE IN our SCHOOL CALLED #RealLife and leaves your permanent fingerprints in our hearts. YOU STRIKE MY MIND!!! This life changing experience will forever be etched in my mind. Thank you for helping me.
Kind regards,
Clairon Haynes
Author & viewer. See More
Kind regards,
Clairon Haynes
Author & viewer. See More
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